Is he Better At Doing what, I Do Best?

i remember everything, i remember us being all good and well, holding you in my arms, your smile blocking out the sun. we spoke of our favorite things, music, gum and love. we disagreed on some things, small things, things we could laugh about, nothing important. i remember dropping to a knee and proposing, sure it was just a cute fun way of me showing how much you meant to me, but it was that, wasn't it? you swore we would be together, and i told you i'd do all i could to hold it all together, and as days passed, we did fine. you called regularly at first, sure sometimes drunk, with other guys, but i trusted you, and i understood you were a free spirit who loved to make friends. but then as the date neared that you were to move in with me, your calls got less frequent and you looked for ways out, until it was weeks at a time until i'd hear from you. i recall a certain moment, as it stuck with me, i remember you calling me from a party, friends all around you, and unlike when you would usually end a conversation with me, you instead paused, and chose not to say "i love you" and i'm not sure, but it seemed like you were embarrassed to say it in front of them, or you didn't want them to know, i dont know. i remember blowing up over a myspace message, and of course, being as clever as you are, you had an answer for everything. and then i get a call one night. you said to me, i wanna know whether or not i should keep you in my phone as lover boy or not? and for some reason, i couldn't really answer you, but i did say, that i wanted you to keep calling, to keep me in your phone, then all you said was, "i'll call you later, i love you, i know your mad so you don't have to say it back, but i love you." and i replied, "i do love you, mad or not" and that was the last time i heard your voice, you never called me back, you just left me.... in this small town, to talk to no one but myself, to have no one.... and then you moved on, your with another, i accept that, it makes me cringe and hate it with all my heart, but i accept it. i just don't understand, what i did to deserve it. i can understand being scared, and to be honest, i was prolly more scared, but it didn't have to end up like that, you coulda just said, he i'm not ready for such a big step yet, i would have completely agreed, because neither was i, all i knew is that i loved you, and i'd do anything to be with you, even if it meant taking a step i wasn't ready for, because you were worth it.... i guess i wasn't your favorite like you always said,i remember that was one of the things that always made me feel better, you saying "ya know, your my favorite" and i'd reply "your favorite what?" "well everything, your my favorite lover, my favorite to talk to, just my favorite.".... i wonder if you tell him that......................